dudes

Source: ESBF
Source: ESBF
Source: Adult Swim
Source: ESBF

I am passionate about working with men who are searching for a form of masculinity that is genuine, spacious, and non-toxic. This is not about performing “wokeness,” but rather, about discovering your authentic values and embodying them in a way that is flexible, powerful, and connected.

Maybe you’re here because a friend or partner encouraged you, or maybe you’re here just for yourself. Whatever the case: I'm glad you're here. If you identify as a man, admitting that you might want or need help of any kind can be difficult. I’ve been there. I get it.

Perhaps you’re having trouble connecting with other people or you’re doing self-destructive things but can’t understand why. Or maybe you’re numb to both pleasure and pain like you’re living life on autopilot. Or you’re trying to figure out the next step, but have no idea what direction you’re headed in… no clue how to know what makes sense for you. All of these were true for me when I first started seeing a counselor.

There is power in differentiating what is truly you from what is not-you;

in becoming yourself, rather than impersonating a paradigm. Party on Garths!

Men in this culture are socialized — often brutally — to disconnect from their feelings at an early age, and this is reinforced both covertly and overtly throughout adolescence and adulthood. If you’re a man, and especially if you’re a straight, cisgender man, there may be self-protective layers that show up to block you from expressing or even experiencing emotions other than “happy,” “angry,” and “neutral.” But feelings are complex and can be extremely useful tools once you know how to remain regulated while keeping in touch with them. When we can’t recognize that something is happening for us internally, that thing is bound to come out in ways we don’t have control over.

Working with men, there is often an initial period of learning how to name and own their feelings. This can be awkward and scary at first. We peel back the layers of shitty enculturation and trauma to unearth parts that have been shut away for years or decades. However painful, this process is a necessary part of healing and can deepen the quality of your relationships with your community, other men, your partner(s), and yourself.

Please check out my rates and general approach, or email me to schedule an initial consultation so we can discuss your needs and see if we are a good fit: [email protected]